Midnight Calls
by nanuka02
Summary: This story is the first in a series, No Sunshine in These Skies. It's set sometime after 2x10, but assumes that Kevin was never court-ordered to rehab for his DUI. Kevin struggles with the weight of what he has done.


Kevin left his brother's house drunk and despondent, and then he went behind the wheel.

That made him reckless.

He drove along the curving roads, a pain in his chest and tears blurring his vision.

He startled when he heard the voice of his niece, Tess.

"Uncle Kevin, slow _down_!" she exclaimed, clambering out of the backseat.

He took in a quick breath and tightened his grip on the wheel, but this did nothing to help him gain control of the car. Instead, they swerved wildly, the car rushing off the road and curving, heading far too quickly towards a tree.

Kevin could hear Tess screaming, and then he saw her flying - she couldn't exactly put on a seat belt as a stowaway.

Kevin could only stare, horrified, as his niece's body hit the tree just a second before the car itself did. He dared a look out the broken windshield to see her body, too small, still and bloody and broken.

He had killed his niece.

Now the only screaming was his own, the kind that burned your throat, and he couldn't stop screaming or sobbing, rocking himself back and forth, as if that would erase the last twenty minutes, as if that would bring Tess back.

He would never forgive himself. He had killed his niece, and he hated himself for it.

Kevin's eyes flew open, and he realised he was still screaming, was still sobbing. But, he was in bed, not in his car. He looked over at the alarm clock - 3:13 AM. Gasping, he blindly reached for his phone. Without thinking, he dialed Randall's number.

 _Please pick up, please pick up._

Kevin was shaking, his clothes sticking to him with sweat, his heart thumping painfully inside his chest.

Just when he thought it would go to voicemail, he heard a shuffling noise and a sigh.

"Kevin, it's three o'clock in the morning. Someone better be dying," Randall said sternly.

"T-Tess?" Kevin asked shakily.

"What?" Randall still sounded half asleep, and seemed even more annoyed to have heard his daughter's name.

"Please, Randall," Kevin sobbed. "Tell me she's okay. Tell me I didn't kill her. She has to be okay." Kevin could almost hear Randall's frown over the phone.

"Kev, Tess is in her room, she's asleep. What's going on?"

Kevin paused, needing to hear the words but hating to have to ask.

"She's - alive - isn't she?" he hedged. There was silence on the other end, and Kevin let out a wounded cry. He shook his head, not wanting to believe the worst.

But then Randall's voice came on again. "Yeah, Kev. She's alive. Tess is alive. She's traumatized, and scared - terrified - but she's alive."

Kevin let out a breath, his shoulders sagging in relief. He suddenly felt exhausted. "Oh, thank God, Randall, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Randall." He was still shaking, still taking in quick, harsh breaths as his heart played drums inside his chest.

"If I were there," Randall said, "I'd walk over and put your face in my hands and look you in the eye, the way Dad did for me, remember?"

Kevin nodded, knowing that his response wasn't audible, but knowing that if he spoke right then, he'd start sobbing again.

Randall continued. "I'm not there with you, so just take some deep breaths with me, Kev. C'mon. In," he said as he slowly took in some air, "And out," he said before letting out the breath. "In, and out."

Kevin followed his brother's instructions as best he could, and could feel the world start to slow down to a less dizzying speed.

"Okay," Kevin said, drawing his knees up to his chest. "Okay. You sure Tess is -"

"Tess is fine, Kev. Now it's getting late, so I gotta go, okay? You just keep taking those deep breaths. Try and get some sleep if you can."

Kevin nodded, a wave of unexpected shame washing over him. "Yeah," he said non-committedly. "Thanks," he added. "Thank you, Randall. I - I'm sorry to have bothered you so late. Don't exactly have great timing, do I?" Kevin laughed nervously.

"It's ok, Kev. And bro?"

"Yeah?"

"We haven't forgiven you yet, but...we will. You get that, right?"

"Yeah," Kevin said softly. "But I don't expect your forgiveness, or Beth's. What I did was unforgivable." There was a brief silence that weighed heavy. Kevin cleared his throat. "Well, uh, g'nite."

Not wanting to delay the call any longer, Kevin only waited half a beat before pressing the red "end call" button on his cell.

He closed his eyes to see if sleep would come, but in that moment, all he saw was Tess's still, mangled form. So instead, he stood and stumbled over to the hotel bathroom, flicked on the light, and turned on the cold water in the sink. He splashed his face with water, and looked up at himself in the mirror.

He was a mess. Dried tears across his cheeks, gunk in his eyes from the fitful sleep, his eyes red and puffy. But what startled him was the pain in his eyes, haunting him.

 _I look dead. I'm a dead man walking._

His brain conjured the image of Tess flying again, and he could once again hear her frightened voice screaming his name,

 _I should be dead. I killed my niece. Almost killed her. I almost killed Tess._

Randall sighed when he heard the silence on the other end, and checked his phone to find that his brother had hung up. He shook his head.

 _Hope he gets some sleep._

He walked back over to the bed to see that his wife was sitting up in bed, a scowl on her face.

"Sorry I woke you. That was Kevin," Randall said.

Beth rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I caught that. What was he bothering us for? It's almost four o'clock in the morning, Randall. After the danger he put Tess in, I think he lost late night call privileges."

"I don't know, Beth, he sounded pretty rough on the phone. We've all been going through a lot lately."

Beth scoffed. "Yeah, well, you don't see any of us getting behind the wheel and endangering a child and everyone on the road." She shook her head, holding up a finger when Randall opened his mouth to refute. "And I know you're going to stick up for him because he's your brother. You always do."

Randall pursed his lips and frowned, knowing she was right.

"But don't you think it's time we take a step back and reconsider him hanging around the girls so much? I know he's good with them, but I can't have him around when he's an endangerment to my babies." She looked her husband in the eyes, pausing to make sure she had his full attention. "I won't, Randall. Because I protect what's mine, and Kevin isn't mine. Tess and Annie are."

Randall threw up his hands. "What are you suggesting, Beth, that we just abandon Kevin and throw him out of our lives?"

Beth raised an eyebrow. "I'm _saying_ that Kevin needs to get his act together before he comes back here, before he talks to Annie or Tess."

"But he's in pain, Beth! I think something's wrong. Because the brother I know would never put his niece in danger like that."

Beth leaned back against the pillows, folding her arms. "Then maybe you don't know your brother anymore."


End file.
